Raid wants me to go insane.

He has a post about what voices he would marry. Yes, only the voice.

The thought of marrying only a voice is truly a horrifying one to me. A disembodied voice could theoretically follow you wherever you went. You could not escape it. Furthermore, if you got into an argument with your vocal spouse - think of how insane you’d appear. Oh, you could try to tell the men in white that you are not crazy; that you are just married to a voice. That’ll get you far. In the end, you’d be locked in a room with padded walls, rocking back and forth as you argue with your spouse (who only you can talk to and hear) about who left the milk out on the kitchen table.

That being said, if I am going to go insane, I’d like to do it with the following:

- Orson Welles. I can’t be the only person who has wanted Orson Welles to narrate their life. My boring life would be poetic and interesting if Orson was dictating.

- Sou Matsumoto. Of Going Under Ground. His voice isn’t that strong and powerful type. It’s not sultry or sensuous. It is just pleasant on my ears. If I were to delve into insanity by being married to a voice that only I could hear, I wouldn’t mind it being his.

- Bonnie Pink. Again, not the best singing voice or anything. It’s not sexy or booming. It’s just that right flavor or pleasant that I’d be fine with for the rest of my days.

- Randy Savage. As in Macho Man Randy Savage. Come on, that’d be GREAT. If I want Orson Welles to make my life more poetic, I’d want Randy to make it absolutely insane. Because he’d take me to The Danger Zone, east of the Pacific Ocean, west of London, England, south of Mars, and north of Hell.

- Koharu Kusumi. If I am going to go out, I am going out IN STYLE.

I just realized that there’d be no backing out of this marriage. In a divorce, all the voice could take would be half of your brain. I’ve already lost so much of that watching Haromoni -I can’t afford to lose anymore.

Tags: Bonnie Pink, Going Under Ground, Koharu Kusumi, Morning Musume, Orson Welles, Randy Savage, Sou Matsumoto

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Tags: Bonnie Pink, Going Under Ground, Koharu Kusumi, Morning Musume, Orson Welles, Randy Savage, Sou Matsumoto

This entry was posted on Monday, April 14th, 2008 at 5:12 pm and is filed under Quickies, The Rest. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.