True Life Seek

If there is a part of me that is a complete and utter waste, it is my love for train wrecks. I don’t mean that I get giddy when I hear a train crashed on the news. I love when people fail miserably. I will watch bad movies, bad music, bad television, bad art, etc. I enjoy trying to figure out why someone puts out an awful product in the hopes that it will turn into buys.So this brings us to Haromoni@. I’ve watched it on and off for the past 9 months. Some weeks have something worthwhile, most weeks are boring. With the news of a H!P Kids show approaching, speculation is that Haromoni@ is going to get canned. I’m taking it upon myself to watch until the bitter end. Along the way, I hope to be able to detail what is wrong with this show and how it can get better. Most likely, I will drive myself mad by frustration and boredom.

Expect each week to end in “No, Haromoni was not worth watching.”

As mentioned, I haven’t been watching religiously. The theme lately is MouTube. Morning Musume watches videos that fans (or people that want to be on TV) send in. They do WACKY things.

They pick a video. A dangerously long frame of this man’s lower section. Takahashi is confused by this as well. He swims backwards. He swims sideway. Turns out that it is hard to capture those actions in sceencap form. Shocking, huh? They are playing a B’z song in the background. That turns this from good to GREAT!

This guy juggles balls. Aika needs to do this. I don’t care if it is on TV, she just needs to do it. They play Axel F. I care more about the song than this guy.

Kusumi takes a long time to do math. Don’t worry I can’t drop math off of the top of my head either. The other girls laugh at her for taking so long. I will remember this because I am sure it will come back to haunt them.

Some businessman plays flutes from his nose. WHY AREN’T ANY OF THE GIRLS DOING THIS? This show misses the boat by so, so very much.

Mika Mutou dances. I’ve seen these things in person. It’s not entertaining for that long. Thus, they don’t leave it on for long.

Stupid dog tricks. This one puts its paw over its face. Perhaps it was taught this by being subjected to months of Haromoni@. Stupid dog and cat tricks always get to me so I am fine with this. I’d watch Haromoni@ all the time if they had this dog.

Some person is a bird handler. Again, WHY aren’t these girls doing this? When they were walking around the streets, why didn’t a bird attack them for them to command? I should be directing this show.

Some fool plays jump rope with his gum. Ew, gross. NEXT.

THIS WOMAN IS GREAT.

I can do that.

This suave guy with a cigar turns out to be boring. What a shame.

He’s back. He wears a speedo on his head and blows it up. I saw a man on youtube try to get his full body into a balloon once. He got stuck inside it for a while. Takahashi should have to perform that.

This man is great. He does this balancing act and has pictures of him doing it in public. This is the best one. It’s got the absurdity factor that he would eat like this as if it were natural. To put the finishing touches on it, some guy is eating in the background as if he is used to do this balancing fool eating in this manner every day. Comedy.

People trying out for the Tokyo Globetrotters. Yes, I picked this moment on purpose. Next.

Some girl kicks some fruit. She is great. It was natural for them to play Eye of the Tiger.

Junjun gets a video. Yes. This cannot fail. THIS RULES. It is so awesome that Junjun is kind of this quiet and calm girl and has this side of her that will just shock everyone. SO GREAT. Anyone that is a Junjun fan must see this immediately. Every single time someone tells me Morning Musume is boring, I point out how great the 7th and 8th gens are. Junjun is proving this.

Reina pretends to eat. NEXT.

“All Your Video Are Belong To Halomoni@.” This actually says that. FAILURE.

Sayumi. Success.

Eri and Risa are so deprived of male relationships that they build a man out of clay to fulfill their wishes. It turns out to be a work of art. I liked my original idea.

I guess they pick the best of each video. The man swimming sideways and backwards wins. (Again, doesn’t translate well into a screenshot, does it?) I am fine with this man winning. I’m gonna go listen to some B’z now.

There is a huge mistake in this premise. Morning Musume should be replicating these videos. Instead of airing a ton of videos, air a few good ones and have MM try to perform these actions. I can picture it all. Watching Risa try to seem backwards. Takahashi stuck in a balloon. A bird attacking Reina. Sayumi playing the flute from her nose. Sure, some of my ideas are nothing beyond torturing some members of Musume. I am fine with that… It’s for entertainment!

While this week’s episode is most certainly a failure for not capitalizing of Morning Musume playing flutes off of body parts, it is not awful. In fact, watching Junjun made the experience worth it. Some of the videos are actually kinda cool. At least they don’t have awful fan-made videos.

Posted on January 28th, 2008 by broomhead. Filed under Reviews, TV.
Tags: Ai Takahashi, Aika Mitsui, Eri Kamei, Haromoni, Hello!Project, Junjun, Koharu Kusumi, Linlin, Morning Musume, Reina Tanaka, Risa Niigaki, Sayumi Michishige