ALAN KEYES LOL

True Life Seek

true life seek

The Hello!Project Trail

Tonight, I decided it was time to play the Oregon Trail again. So I loaded up my original CD (oh yeah), got a DOS emulator and had some fun.

Except my idea of fun with the Oregon Trail isn’t winning the game with my friends.

It’s more along the lines of:

And here is the rest of the log!

Our Trailers: Ai Takahashi, Risa Niigaki, Natsumi Abe, Risako Sugaya and Rika Ishikawa.

April 1, 1848
You started down the trail with 15 oxen, 1000 bullets, 2 wagon wheels, 2 wagon axles, 2 wagon tongues, 1500 pounds of food, and $840.00.
April 7, 1848
You found 1 set of clothing, 24 bullets, 3 wagon axles, and 2 wagon tongues in an abandoned wagon.You have reached the Kansas River Crossing.
You chose to caulk your wagon and float it across the river.
April 10, 1848
Sugaya was bitten by a snake. (YES!!)
April 11, 1848
You took the wrong trail.
April 16, 1848
You have reached the Big Blue River Crossing.
You chose to caulk your wagon and float it across the river.
April 17, 1848
Sugaya died of a snakebite. (So long!)
April 22, 1848
You have reached Fort Kearney.
April 25, 1848
Abe was bitten by a snake. (Can’t stay from the snakes, eh Nacchi?)
April 26, 1848
Ishikawa has cholera.
May 4, 1848
Niigaki was bitten by a snake. (These snakes hit H!P memebers often)
Ishikawa is well again.
May 5, 1848
Abe is well again. (Damn!)
May 7, 1848
You have reached Chimney Rock.
May 8, 1848
You decided to hunt.
You brought back 29 pounds of food.
May 10, 1848
You took the wrong trail.
Niigaki died of a snakebite. (I wanted Niigaki to last the longest)
May 13, 1848
You decided to hunt.
May 16, 1848
You had a wagon wheel break but were able to replace it from supplies.
May 17, 1848
You have reached Fort Laramie.
You bought 15 sets of clothing, 1 wagon wheel, and 1000 pounds of food at the store.
May 19, 1848
Ishikawa has cholera. (Again??)
May 20, 1848
An ox (Mika Mutou) is sick.
You decided to rest for 5 days. (Gotta let Mika rest)
May 28, 1848
Ishikawa is well again.
May 30, 1848
Bad water.
May 31, 1848
No water.
Ishikawa has a fever.
June 3, 1848
No water.
June 5, 1848
You decided to hunt.
You brought back 200 pounds of food.
June 6, 1848
You found some wild fruit.
Abe has a broken arm. (Broken arm #1 for Abe)
June 8, 1848
Ishikawa is well again.
June 9, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
June 10, 1848
Ishikawa has a broken arm.
You have reached Independence Rock.
June 11, 1848
An ox (Mika Mutou) wandered off.
Bad water.
June 18, 1848
No water.
Ishikawa got sick and died. (Quick, Erika and Yui, now’s your chance! Hurry!!)
June 24, 1848
No water.
You have reached South Pass.
You decided to take the trail to the Green River Crossing.
June 26, 1848
No water.
June 28, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
June 29, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
July 1, 1848
Abe has a broken arm. (Broken arm #2)
No water.
July 2, 1848
A thief stole 99 bullets from your wagon.
July 3, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
July 5, 1848
Abe was bitten by a snake. (Abe loves snakes)
No water.
July 6, 1848
An ox (Mika Mutou) died.
No grass for the oxen.
July 7, 1848
You have reached the Green River Crossing.
You chose to take a ferry across the river.
July 10, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
July 12, 1848
No water.
July 14, 1848
Abe was bitten by a snake. (#3, she’s just begging to be in the tabloid magazines)
No grass for the oxen.
July 15, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
July 16, 1848
Abe was bitten by a snake. (A statement from Natsumi’s publicist said she bruised her arm while playing Playstation at a friend’s house)
No grass for the oxen.
July 17, 1848
Abe has a broken arm. (Broken arm #3??? Now THAT’S a scandal)
Bad water.
July 18, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
July 19, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
July 20, 1848
You found some wild fruit.
No grass for the oxen.
July 21, 1848
No water.
July 22, 1848
An ox (Mika Mutou) is sick.
No grass for the oxen.
You have reached Soda Springs.
July 25, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
July 26, 1848
Bad water.
July 27, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
July 28, 1848
You have reached Fort Hall.
July 29, 1848
Abe has a broken leg.
No water.
July 30, 1848
Bad water.
August 2, 1848
Rough trail.
You had a wagon wheel break but were able to fix it.
No grass for the oxen.
August 3, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
August 4, 1848
No water.
August 5, 1848
A thief stole 5 oxen from your wagon.
No water.
August 7, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
Abe got sick and died. (And what a run she had)
August 8, 1848
No water.
August 9, 1848
An ox (Mika Mutou) is sick.
Bad water.
August 10, 1848
Takahashi was bitten by a snake.
No grass for the oxen.
August 12, 1848
No grass for the oxen.
Takahashi died of a snakebite. (And so ends our great trip!)

The leader of the next wagon will most definitely be Reina Tanaka.

Posted on February 23rd, 2008 by broomhead. Filed under Articles.
Tags: , , , , ,



4 Responses to “The Hello!Project Trail”

  1. Kawaiirrhea Says:

    Hilarious! Too bad Number Munchers doesn’t have anything like a transcript.

  2. Radicalipton Says:

    I was hoping Risa would escape snake death. As for the others … that’s life on the frontier.

    http://www.bloggerparty.com/blog/radreview

  3. Vee Says:

    Highly entertaining, if macabre. I LOL’ed, would LOL again.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS

Leave a Reply