True Life Seek

For the longest time, I had no interest that Hello!Project was running auditions in Taiwan. It was a H!P audition, not an audition directly into Morning Musume, Berryz Koubou, C-ute or even Ongaku Gatas. Therefore, I figured, whoever makes passes the auditions is likely to never be heard from again for a few years, at least.

I still feel most of that is true. However, Some Boys! Blog has an entry up that links to a gallery of images and videos of idol hopefuls. Looking these over, I realized that I can easily predict on who will make it into H!P. Based on a few seconds of video or an image of two, I can clearly sum up the entire future careers of these girls.

Again, all of these videos are coming from this gallery. However, I don’t believe in that link surviving the long run, and I don’t want to inline link, so I am hosting the media myself (the images here on TLS and the videos on IW - thanks Ray).

Don’t care.

Pretty cute! I wish you luck 15!

Mai Hagiwara wannabe? It looks like 16 is trying to play an instrument, a skill which will never be utilized in her idol career.

Hilarious.

This has to be the one audition in the world in which wearing this yellow monstrosity would actually be a positive. That is unless you are trying out for People That Dress In The Dark.

The hair really reminds me of Yurina Kumai. The smile somewhat resembles Kumai as well, although not as much. In fact, the bright yellow outfit suspender jumper thing screams childish, and thus Yurina. The sad fact in this is that if 23 were to make it into H!P, I would fully expect her to grow up and act like a woman before Yurina.

24 looks like she is a lovely girl, but I am afraid that she can’t make it into H!P. There is only room for one Jabberjaws, and Miya has that covered.

Video of Jabberjaws singing. I dunno.

I hear that Gatas Brilhantes is looking for new members.

Zero stage presence!

This is the girl that just sang. Notice how C-ute is in the middle of the poster. They should be #1.

Don’t see it happening.

Some poor soul tries to breakdance!

This is awful! In the long run it probably doesn’t matter that it is bad since she is not going to be breakdancing in a NYC subway. There is no flow to it. She can balance but it looks like she got taught how to breakdance at a dancing school or something. The final pose is cute though. It’s definitely from Koi Kana or Anataboshi.

This is the girl that was just breakdancing.

34 just rolled out of bed and decided to audition for Hello!Project. Her outfit makes her like she has got some belly on her.

Notice how a lot of the auditioners look like they are trying out for a SweetS audition. Maybe they are planning to hop aboard the plane to Japan with H!P, and then drop them like a bad habit for Avex. Such devious foresight! I should become a manager.

Another dancer. You could listen to Hello my Baby* instead of the song she dances to and the dance moves would still be appropriate, if not more so.

If you make it, I’ll be calling you Michigan J. Frog, and no one will understand it but me.

DIVA coming through!

Shame on you 41! So trashy!

Another dancer. Misa needs to do a Horrible Dancers segment on these auditions alone.

I have a feeling that I am seeing lots of people that I never will again.

“I think you are right,” say 42.

44 reminds me of an idoling!! girl. I don’t know why.

It wasn’t smart to put Maimi and Kanna in clear view. Hey look, there’s Chinami! And Mitsui too! Who’s this girl standing in front of the H!P girls though?

Sadly, she will probably get into H!P instead of…

The star of the audition appears!

046. I don’t really care if you only amount to an H!P egg that is a backup dancer. You have to make it into H!P.

I will cry foul if 46 doesn’t make it. Pengie agrees with me. She is not only better than everyone else, but it is destiny that she make it. You see, this is essentially the 10th gen, even if Junjun and Linlin are considered 8th gen. Furthermore, she would be the 10th member of Morning Musume. Lastly, to prove the stars are aligned, 4+6=10. So, welcome to H!P 46.

I don’t like that dress one bit.

Al Borland probably won’t make it in.

She is either adjusting her hair or trying to become the next Reina Tanaka - NO.

52 seems pretty normal. She will probably make it far into the auditions for who knows what reason.

What a disaster! That said, H!P loves taking girls in that have no reason being in the entertainment industry.

Some tiny girl fails at dancing. I wonder if I put on a dress and waved my arms around if I could make it into H!P, cause that is essentially what this girl did.

GO AWAY!

Emulating Sayumi - excellent strategy.

Another hopeful that can play an instrument, which means she is essentially useless to UFA and Hello!Project.

Apparently Erika Umeda has traveled back in time into a Paula Adbul outfit.

“I’ve always wanted my kid to be a pop star.” “Does your kid want to be in H!P?” “I’ve always wanted my kid to be a pop star.”

Some judge decides to kick back a few cold ones, I can’t say that I blame her.

Potential is in this one. I can tell from a photo that says nothing at all about her.

Chinami got so frustrated at being held down in Berryz Koubou that she decided to try out for Morning Musume.

69 plays an instrument, minus one point in this audition. 69 has a terrible, godawful outfit, plus one point in this audition.

I’ve been joking about how bad outfits is a good thing for a H!P audition, considering H!P outfits are some of the worst things you’ve ever seen. But this… remember when Reina Tanaka joined and everyone thought she had this cool fashion sense. This is the polar opposite of that.

I believe that is a shirt, not a dress.

Some sort of cross between a Mai Hagiwara face and a Chisato Okai haircut (ok, not really either of those two) and I’d be ok with that combination.

Not much to say, she’s kind of cute? I think? I don’t even know anymore.

Does Gatas Brilhantes have a fight song? I think that is what some of these girls will be singing…

Oh me lads, you should’ve seen us gannin
Passing the folks along the road
Just as they were staring
All the lads and lasses there
They all had smilin faces
Gannin along the Scotswood Road
To see the Blaydon races*

This girl sings better than Koharu. (ok not really)

You may have fail at singing, but it’s ok, you are a cutie.

Keep fighting the good fight #80!

There really are not many outstanding girls in this audition that we’ve seen, excpt for 46.

This is your typical H!P singer right here.

How are there no pictures of this girl to go along with this video? I mean, I don’t think she’s great at singing, but it is what I expect out of H!P. Furthermore, her reactions are so prototype H!P. I can’t even see her audition number. Who is this girl?

All the places that you will never visit as a member of Hello!Project.

Perhaps I should have said, “all the places that you will never visit a terrible performer.”

Our second diva!

She should make it through.

This girl reminds me of someone. The haircut and PV remind me of some jpop star in a PV that I can’t think of. Onitsuka Chihiro? Maybe. Ah, I shouldn’t worry about it. I’ll never see this girl again.

All your hopes and dreams of becoming an idol and a star in the entertainment industry… only to be dashed away because you dressed like a janitor to the audition.

And there you go. If #46 doesn’t make it into H!P, I’ll never pay attention to this wretched group again.

Unless Aika Mitsui gets a photobook.

Posted on May 28th, 2008 by broomhead. Filed under Articles.
Tags: 46, audition, Hello!Project