True Life Seek

When Mutou Mika graduated from Hello! Project, I wasn’t happy. That’s not to say that I liked Mika; I found her to be quite boring. Even though she didn’t bring much to the table, her presence was necessary. If anything, she made the other H!P Eggs in Ongaku Gatas stand out. I think it is hard for idols to stand out on their own merits alone. I find it is much easier to learn new idols by comparing and contrasting them to other idols. By being so helplessly boring and generic, Mika helped the likes of Mano Erina, Noto Arisa and Sawada Yuri stand out.

So, in the end, there was some benefit to Mutou Mika’s presence.

There was no saving grace with Haromoni. And now that it is dead, I can only come to one conclusion.

It wasn’t worth watching.

That said, it was an interesting final episode. Intentional or not, I understand the premise behind this episode - the entire show comprised of GakiKame segments - as a metaphor (I’d say microcosm but I don’t like that word) for the show’s run.

We start the last episode away from that wretched studio. A good idea. They are on location at some restaurant and are dressed up as cooks/servers - apparently planning for their future post-Haromoni careers.

It still was boring. Like most GakiKame segments, they throw stuff around and screw up a lot. Well, these are mildly more interesting than your usual GakiKame segment, but the association of being the last Haromoni episode may be warping my mind here.

I guess Niigaki and Kamei are best described as consummate professionals. They have to do a lot of takes, but they suck it up to do their job. They probably just learned to deal with this crap a long time ago. Junjun and Linlin screw up their take by reacting way before the director cuts the scene. Sayumi and Koha quickly grow sick of their shit and wanted out.

It was nice to see the girls so happy when they finally succeeded. It brings back memories of the Morning Musume jump rope segment (again with the comparing idols, I’m telling you). Even if these reactions are nice to see, I can’t forget that it took 80, 150, 300 failures to get this.

And that is sort of how Haromoni, as a whole, went. Lots and lots of bad segments and non-entertainment. There were a few gems, but even those were largely forgettable.

What are your memories of Haromoni? Do you have any good ones? Without reading any of my old Haromoni reviews, I can only count the good times on one hand. There was Kusumi Koharu dressing up as Superman (with the theme to go with it). There were plenty of stupid animal tricks (but barely any stupid idol tricks). Mitsui Aika was the Queen Bee of the show and one of the few to show any real, interesting personality. One time Koharu smacked that stupid baby upside the head.

But what I will remember the most about Haromoni is how truly awful the show was.

I am not as big of a fan of Morning Musume as I was when I started watching Haromoni. This shouldn’t be possible after watching them on television for nearly a year. I started this entry by saying that it is easier to remember idols by comparing them and contrasting them to other idols. What is the single, most-defining difference between Generations 1-4 of Morning Musume and Generations 5-8? The personality is gone.

Takahashi Ai? I feel for Ai (a bit) because I think she tries. She can’t let go though. When she eases up a bit, she is embarassed. I don’t quite understand it. You are on a low-rated idol television show and you are pretending like you have some dignity about yourself? You shouldn’t have to worry about making yourself look stupid because you inherently look stupid by being a part of the show.

Tanaka Reina? Someone’s idea of entertainment is blinking.

Niigaki Risa? They say that everything needs to big on the small screen. Reactions need to be over-the-top. Risa does this. Unfortunately, that is also the problem. That’s all she does. None of her over-the-top reactions are memorable because all of her reactions are over-the-top.

Kamei Eri and Michishige Sayumi? I’m lumping them together because they both share the same problem. They don’t have the cast around them to play their parts efficiently. There needs to a straight man to Eri’s weirdness (she is still weird) and Sayumi’s vanity. Otherwise Eri is just weird and Sayumi is just vain. Where is the charm in that?

Kusumi Koharu? She was probably best suited for this show because it’s obvious that she just doesn’t give a what. The crackhead routine can cause fan reactions to go two routes if that is all she does - and that is all Koha does. Annoyance at the repetition or astonishment at it all.

Junjun and Linlin? I’m lumping these two together because they just never really stood out. They had some chances, but nothing effective. What have we learned about Junjun? She likes bananas and likes to cry. She’s been in Morning Musume since May 2007 and that’s all I can tell you about her. Linlin? She eats babies.

Mitsui Aika? Aika is the only one who benefited from Haromoni. I’ve learned she is the Queen Bee of this group. She doesn’t give a what if she leaves you crying or looking stupid. That personality may not sit well with some, but at least she was able to stand out due to Haromoni.

In the end, Morning Musume regressed because of Haromoni. I’ve learned reasons not to enjoy Morning Musume that I never would have found out had I never watched the show, or had it never existed. Going forward - if they stay together - maybe I will start to enjoy them again. I already start to like them more now that they are no longer associated with that travesty of a show.

Posted on September 30th, 2008 by broomhead. Filed under Article.
Tags: H!P Eggs, Haromoni, Hello! Project, Junjun, Kamei Eri, Kusumi Koharu, Linlin, Mano Erina, Michishige Sayumi, Mitsui Aika, Morning Musume, Mutou Mika, Niigaki Risa, Noto Arisa, Ongaku Gatas, Sawada Yuri, Takahashi Ai